26.7.05

Ambigrams on the Mind

Here's a cool game I found. I wasted a good many minutes beating every level. Challenging without being too hard.

25.7.05

Persnickety: A Fun But Irrelevant Word

Ever have one of those weekends full of reunions or full of goodbyes? This last one has been a big heaping scoopful of both. Also, I ate way too many raisins, but that's a disgusting tale I'll never speak of again. You shouldn't either. I arrived home for the evening to find that a good high school chap of mine is in town! Roshitha and I caught up a bit. I've not really seen or spent time with him in years! Twas great fun hearing of his recent escapades over a beer. Seeing him really brought back a lot of fun high school memories. I usually only recall the mediocre or terrible ones!

I can't pinpoint when or why, but sometime tonight reality barraged me. My life will change greatly within a few weeks. Tim, too, seems to have had the same bombardment by reality. I called and we talked for a while after Ro left. Mid-August is not far off. It's almost unreal how people have found their paths (for the time being at least) after months if not years of indecision. It's also quite odd how the politics of quitting a job can get so darned finicky. It should be a simple enough matter.

The big reality: the Mike+Matt divorce has begun. Moving out has become emminent; the threat of much work looms. We began the discussion of who gets what. He can have everything that might be kinda both of ours. So it's been easy. But it still strikes me as very strange. I've been living with him for nearly a year. And most of the years previous we lived pretty much together. But not in the same apartment or, more aptly, dorm room. Next door is pretty close though. It'll be way too much like the longest relationship I've ever had is coming to an end. I'm going to miss living with my heterosexual male life-partner. We've had a lot of good times here together.

Friday night was a great night out, though I can't believe I slept through half of the Empire Strikes Back. It's only about my favorite film ever. I blame a few drinks and a comfortable couch with comfortable company. I was just too damned comfortable not to nap! Before that though the Downtown Grill was about the most fun it's ever been. I met Erin there, but not just her! Christine and Weston and Bethany and other people I don't really know well were there too. I even managed not to utterly stink of smoke afterwards. A first for that bar! Even after the movie, the night proved to be more fun still! Of course I'm pretty sure the party raging until well after dawn upstairs should have been annoying all night, but I barely noticed.

ears: miles davis - the doo bop song
eyes: mystery men
mind: history as a system
also: harry potter and the half-blood prince

14.7.05

Like, reach the man, Good good good let us counter-attacking

Obi wan, space battle strategist and so much more! Check it: The Backstroke of the West. It's fun shite.

Nothing But an Ordinary Fly

most docile fly ever

An OJ Martini

I find myself awake at, oh, about 2 in the morning. I ponder, think, prove the existence of God, quickly rethink, fart once, prove the non-existence of God, and find myself totally befuddled by this inherent paradox. Farting is no grounds for an utter lack of God. If anything, what is the idea of 'God' but a lot of hot air spouting out someone's ass? Thusly, if I can fart, then God must surely exist. Really, I've shown I should be drinking and not thinking. I decide to stop attempting sleep, rouse myself, and quickly shake up a martini.

Bringing us here. I had meant to write up another chapter in my exciting 'Michigan: It's a State!' journal, but then I decided I should go to bed. And we all know how bed worked out. It led me to drink, just like Michigan. So no Michigan stories tonight, kids.

Instead, something completely different. It might be my sore throat, the fever, and the hellish warmth my room holds, but I feel like writing something a bit unusual. On my blog I tend to shy away from really opening myself up, sharing truely personal experiences, my opinions on personal matters, and feelings in general. I'm more than perfectly comfortable to rant about news, movies, lunch, photos people have taken, and amusing things. I'd not really thought about it before, but as much as this blog is about me (no other agenda) I keep my gaurd up here far more than I do in any other situation. The idea that just anybody might simply read how I feel unnerves me and I'm not sure why. I'm more than willing to talk with generally anybody about me. I like me. I like what I do. So why not tell the world at large how I feel? Beats me.

I find myself at odds with 'love.' I don't know what it means. I thought I had it down once, but it kicked a bit, the situation reversed, it got me in a half Nelson, and we've been duking it out since. I love plenty of different people. I love them all for being wonderful, wonderful people. But I've only loved a small handful. And really, I still love them of course; I don't know why past tense makes that particular statement make sense. But it does. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?

Since love and I became aware of one another, the line between falling in love and simply loving a good friend have become less and less distinct. I feel that this is a common, healthy, and rather normal phenomenon. What bothers me lately is this: I've only loved one both as a good friend and as someone I just totally fell in love with one day. In regards to her, I have quite a time disentangling any sort of rough line between the two sensations. For the longest time, years even, I thought I had done it. All the emotions, all the memories, all the experiences became completely meshed. Friend and lover were one. To truely seperate one from the other would be near impossible, but I thought I had done it. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm even less sure it matters. But despite my better judgement I hope it does. Why? Because most of that paragraph was bullshit beating around the bush. Summed up, I'm a little weirded out by feelings for someone. Feelings I once had, but thought I'd never have again. Except now the feelings are different-fresh, more mature, I don't know what, but different and the same all at once. I've developed a new crush on a rather old one. It's a new feeling for me. I doubt anything will come of it, but it doesn't matter because everything has just been fun on the way to attaining this new weird feeling. But here's to hopping. To hoping. Ah, hell, to hoping while hopping!

Regardless of what it all means--that's not the point here now is it--it's a relief to spell "how I feel" out in rough terms. Don't fret; this isn't becoming one of "those" livejournals. It's just that I've not really told anyone who might read this yet, and it's a bit relieving to overcome a small fear and expose myself this way to potentially anyone. Even the one person I'm talking about, but I don't think she knows about my blog or at least not the url, so no one tell!

Well kids, the martini is gone, a couple martini glasses of OJ are gone, and it's getting close to half past two. It's time to tackle the whole existence of God thing until my head either stops or starts hurting and I fall asleep.


ears: the decemberists
eyes: legally blonde
mind: so long and thanks for all the fish
also: it's bastille day

11.7.05

I'm Gonna Miss Those Guys

If you've never been to Michigan before (or even if you have!), go and be sure to check out Frankenmuth. It's this really fucking weird town in the middle of fucking nowhere. I absolutely adored it. Why is there a Bavarian [sort of] village between Flint and Saginaw? Why is it a tourist destination? I never thought another town could put Pigeon Forge to shame. I never thought any town could have a Christmas Village-esque mega-huge shopping mall/hotel/warehouse/indoor water park/etc. My only disappointment is that the wait-staff at Zehnder's didn't wear lederhosen.

"Why," you might ask, "were you in Frankenmuth, Michigan last monday?" Well, lucky reader, I shall enlighten you. The long and the short of it adds up like so: I convoyed (one moving van, three autos (two japanese), and one sailing boat) to Lansing assisting in the moving of two dear friends, Anna and Randy. I'm gonna miss those guys. As it happens, Randy has family dotted around Michigan. His grandparents live just outside of Frankenmuth. If not for those two events coinciding I probably would have lived out a long and happy life totally unaware that such a town as Frankenmuth--it's really fun to say aloud; give it a try--that such a place exists. My only regret is that I didn't have my camera on me that night.

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