the paradigms shift

I've googled "Mike is" for about the umpteenth time. I'm always something great and novel! Also, it's a great way to pass the time. Without further ado I give you the 31 things I happen to be today:

Mike is the sex.
Mike is both lazy and gay.
Mike is a big gold star.
Mike is finally made of metal.
Mike is the Peter Pan.
Mike is a man of immense talent.
Mike is in Da House.
Mike is a professional charter boat.
Mike is booked so often.
Mike is an idiot.
Mike is now accepting applications
Mike is one of the pioneers in the abstinence education movement.
Mike is also a voting member.
Mike is a sea shell.
Mike is able to simulate either a male or a female sexual identity.
Mike is open.
Mike is also in great demand.
Mike is the funniest thing to come out of Canada.
Mike is the puzzler.
Mike is snubbed.
Mike is feeling fine.
Mike is an enjoyable fantasy, especially for children.
Mike is Mayor.
Mike is Chairman.
Mike is great family entertainment.
Mike is a Class 8 auditor.
Mike is right.
Mike is one of the most experienced kettlebell instructors in the US.
Mike is Busted!!!!!!
Mike is actually Modern Message #7.
Mike is closely tied to LSU football games in Death.